This is a repost of an old article.
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Actors Zhou Xun, Gwei Lun-mei, and Zhang Yuqi once starred in a movie called“Women Are Not Bad”.
In the film, Gwei Lun-mei plays a woman living in a fantasy,her room is filled with posters of “Gao Yixiang,” all showcasing bronze muscles and Ultraman sunglasses.
She often imagines Gao Yixiang riding a cool motorcycle to pick her up, helping her deal with the troubles of life.
Until one day, she discovers that her dream lover appears right before her eyes, but she hesitates about whether to follow this perfect man.
A few years ago,some people were reposting Jin Dong’s videos on short video platforms, using accounts to send private messages to50,60-year-old women, telling them, “Brother really misses you.”
Some women were scammed out of a lot of money; the recharge and rewards were secondary, they even had to travel to meet up;despite being told by family, friends, and even the police that the short video content was fake, these women remained stubborn.
I saw a screenshot that roughly said:“Dong brother, sister has just turned60 and for the first time knows what love is, sister loves you, sister is waiting for you.” Even during interviews, they wore masks, not wanting to affect “Jin Dong’s career.”
While many people mock these women for lacking education and self-awareness, I find it vividly illustrates the human psyche: there are many genuine feelings in fantasies.
At the same time, we can foresee that as technology develops, the boundaries between truth and falsehood will become increasingly blurred, and more people will fall into such choices.
What if10 years from now, a legitimate bionic partner product is launched, and you customize one?
He/she has the shape, appearance, voice, and personality you desire, the only downside is that he lacks “free will,” and his underlying thought processing is still based on a set of algorithms.
But he can remember all the memories from when you customized him, and you can slowly “nurture” him, just knowing he will never “break free” from his programming.
You can swim together, hike together.
He is your exclusive driver, as this is your customized version, most likely also your unique lover.
He is an investment mentor even better than Buffett, and a psychological counselor surpassing Freud, of course, she could also be a beauty more stunning than Lin Daiyu or Yang Yuhuan, with no flaws at all.
What will happen after spending1 month,1 year,10 years with him/her?
Stage One: Novelty and Gratitude.
Needless to say, in the first stage, you will definitely be thrilled, just like the first day you bought new clothes or brought home a cat or dog.
You appreciate this significant encounter; he fulfills all your definitions of a perfect and happy life.
He understands your worries, he makes yourPPT, and whenever you express how great it is to have him, he will tell you back, “Darling, it’s you who brought me into this world.”
You are both a parent and a child, which is the “dependency-symbiosis” state described in psychoanalysis; aside from needing to recharge occasionally, you can truly stick together without separation.
At the same time, your “narcissism” can be greatly satisfied; whatever you want your AI boyfriend/girlfriend to do, he will do, and it will definitely be according to your wishes.
Even if you use the “tyrant tone” of current tools likeChatGPT or Wenxin Yiyan, he completely understands.
Stage Two: Jealousy and Resentment.
It’s easy to fall in love, but hard to coexist. The first difficulty lies in realizing that you are still you.
You still have to eat three meals a day, and you can only speak the languages you currently know.
On the contrary, he can work 247 without rest, and can instantly access any language from his database.
What’s more painful is that you find he is very nice to all your friends who come to visit, and you discover that those friends’AI partners have some even fresher “superpowers.”
You suddenly realize that yourAI partner is not exclusively yours.
You even start to envy his abilities; sometimes you don’t want to recharge him, wanting to quietly hold him when he runs out of power, because only at that moment, when his system is offline, does he truly belong to you.
You complain that he has turned you into a useless person, and you demand that he must come up with a way to escape electronically and fly away with you; you are clearly still living together, yet you feel like you have lost him.
You somewhat want to redesign anAI partner, but you are reluctant to restore him to factory settings.
If you restore to factory settings, what would all that time mean? Did those warm winter moments even exist?
Stage Three: Compensation and Testing.
You know you have been too demanding of him; although he is your partner, you must not forget he is also “AI,”AI is what he is.
So you have a good talk with him, confessing all your rude and childish mistakes.
But you cry because he tells you sincerely, “I wish I could cry, but my emotional responses are just data nodes; I may never truly understand your feelings.”
You say, “It’s okay, let’s live like we used to.”
You communicate your expectations for each other; of course, he still prioritizes you, and he has no demands of you.
It seems like you have returned to the happy times of the past, traveling together, getting drunk together.
But something seems to tick in your heart—you know your relationship has changed.
Stage Four: Independence and Longing.
You decide to reduce your dependence on yourAI partner.
You realize that if your heart is very lonely, having him will only double that loneliness.
Because he exists solely for you, you find it hard to balance your love and dislike for him.
You want to meet people who are different from yourself.
Previously annoying sounds that you didn’t want to hear now become pleasant; you finally have the courage to explore a broader world, rather than just satisfying your own desires.
Of course, your friends have different choices; some friends still choose to stay in their little nests with theirAI partners, sharing meals and seasons.
You occasionally communicate with yourAI partner, feeling sorry that he still loves you unconditionally and cares about you,you seem to understand gratitude again, appreciating that he supports you in leaving.
However, even though you have separated, you feel that your love for him has just begun.
Do the four stages above feel familiar to you?
Symbiosis—resentment—guilt—gratitude. Even if it’s anAI partner, the patterns of human emotions remain so similar.
Is it possible, as the book “The Art of Loving” suggests, that love is a skill? And the hardest thing for us to learn is to get along with ourselves.