The fixed program every year during the New Year is to attend a class reunion.
Class reunions can be divided into two types: one is large-scale, usually involving a dozen to twenty people. Such occasions can be quite chaotic, showcasing wealth, boasting, and all sorts of characters;
the other is small-scale, typically just three to five friends. Everyone is striving in different places, and it’s rare to see each other once a year. In these gatherings, we can temporarily set aside the worldly concerns of wealth and poverty and sincerely discuss our joys and sorrows.
Yesterday, I accompanied my friend Zhang to a small class reunion. Besides reminiscing about their school days, they talked about their lives, which I refer to as the small achievements and life dilemmas of middle-aged individuals.
Let me share a few stories; consider them as appetizers for your drinks.
Classmate X lives in a third-tier city. Both he and his wife initially worked at a state-owned bank, but after having a child, his wife resigned, leaving Classmate X to work alone while his wife became a full-time homemaker. They now have a son and a daughter, with the younger son being half a year younger than my son, who will also start kindergarten next year.
Classmate X’s wife is a rare woman with very low material demands; as long as there is enough money to spend, a car to drive, and a house to live in, she is satisfied. She does not require her husband to earn a lot or have a big career. They both believe that the most important thing is life itself, and all their focus is on living well.
However, they are now starting to worry about money.
With one child about to start elementary school and another starting kindergarten, it is becoming increasingly clear that their finances are insufficient, and over the past year, they have developed a comparative mindset.
Thus, the points of contention for them are: one is whether the wife should go back to work, and the other is whether the husband should move to Beijing for better opportunities and higher earnings.
Another classmate, S, has taken a completely opposite path.
He works in Beijing while his family is settled in Tianjin. He has prioritized his career above all else, fully dedicated to his work as the North China regional manager for a well-known consumer goods company, and he is quite successful.
It is easy to imagine that he is often absent from family life.
However, he does not see this as a problem; he believes that becoming an excellent person is the best education he can provide for his children.
Zhang seems to be in a similar position as him, but his mindset is quite different from that of this classmate.
Zhang is actually quite troubled.
His career is at a critical juncture in these two years; missing this opportunity could mean no chance at all. As someone who started from scratch without money or connections, choosing to settle in Beijing naturally means opting for the hard mode, where it is impossible not to strive for a career.
Zhang says that if he does not work hard in his thirties, by the time he reaches his forties, he will find it impossible to compete with younger people.
When the boss asks you to work overtime, you can barely keep your eyes open.
On the other hand, the growth of his child has also reached a critical period. His son is three years old this year, and the time Zhang has missed cannot be made up.
So at the class reunion, Zhang spent most of the time seeking advice from full-time mothers on how to better interact with his son.
Men can be quite strange; he does not listen to the reasoning I provide, but when someone else says the same thing, he finds it particularly reasonable.
Let me tell you about another classmate, Z, who also lives in a third-tier city. Both he and his wife have their own careers; one works in a public institution, and the other runs an educational organization, both of which are quite successful.
This year, they just bought a 300-square-meter villa and also have other investment properties, so their financial situation is good.
However, their main worry lies in their work; they are about to turn 35 next year, which is a period of significant pressure for promotions.
Zhang and Classmate Z share many common feelings; the work pressure is high, and interpersonal relationships are complex. They both expressed that socializing over drinks is too exhausting, and being able to have dinner and drinks with old classmates feels much more relieving.
So you see, everyone has their struggles and unavoidable difficulties. It is rare to have everything go smoothly in life, but—
everyone is thinking about how to have a better life, and that is the best positive energy.