Today’s Quora speed read! The hardest thing you’ve ever done, a story about saving your autistic child. Accidentally learned that the Airbnb host was a childhood friend. The other two stories are heartwarming tales about parents or children. Today’s reading is through the roof in warmth. Enjoy reading!
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Source: Friends
PART II: SPEED
Quora Selected Picks: 2024.11.16
What is the most difficult thing you’ve ever done?
By DENNIS MANNING,
2018
My son has autism. It’s severe. He has no verbal skills. He only understands simple phrases. He can’t tell me when he’s sick, if he’s scared, or if he even understands.
As he became a teenager, he started having violent meltdowns. A lot of it had to do with the chemical changes that happen at puberty, and an instinctual realization that he wasn’t like other kids, and never would be.
The meltdowns got so bad that living with him was problematic. We never knew when the violent rage would hit him, and he would destroy objects in the house, and attack us.
I suggested that things could not continue as they were going. I discussed with my wife the option of putting him in the hospital so they could run tests to see if they could find medications that would calm him down and yet keep him engaged in life. She refused, as she thought he would grow out of it, and I think she might have been scared that he would be institutionalized. The stress of this situation helped erode our marriage. She had an affair. We broke up. My son’s tantrums became worse. Her boyfriend moved in not long after I moved out.
He lasted about 3 months before he gave her an ultimatum. “Get your son into the hospital, or I leave.” So we set it up for our son to go.
[235 words]
[Timed Time 3]
We drove him to the hospital, where an ambulance was waiting to take him from our small hospital to a hospital in St. Louis, about ninety miles away. We were escorted from the room, and the staff and security put him on a gurney and strapped him down.
He was alone in a room full of strangers who were restraining him and strapping him down. He had no idea what was happening. He was scared and thought we’d abandoned him. His screams of terror and confusion echoed through the halls of the hospital. They wheeled him outside to get into the ambulance. I was on the other side of the wall. As they put him in, he called out, “Daddddddyyyy!” It took everything within me to stay where I was out of sight, and not rush to his side. If he would have seen me, there would have been no way to transport him. They gave him a sedative, and he passed out.
It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do…let my son be led off so he could get the help he sorely needed.
But take heart. He stayed in the hospital for five weeks. They discovered which meds worked, and gave us strategies to head off possible meltdowns at the pass. He is now calm and engaged. He hasn’t had a meltdown for several years. He’s a whole different person than he was. He is loving and gentle. I’m so proud of all he’s accomplished.
[250 words]
[Timed Time 4]
What‘s the most incredible coincidence that ever happened to you?
2017
I was twenty years old, and my mother had just died. I had flown into the city to attend her funeral. I had not known her – she left when I was very young.
I said nothing during the funeral, and I could not cry. But I felt incredible loneliness at seeing the life I had never known. I left early and went to my AirBnB.
When I got there, I was struck by enormous sadness. Suddenly, I couldn’t stop crying. I cried harder than I ever had in my life. I began to truly feel the loss of my mother, who I didn’t even know, and the fact that I would never have one.
The Airbnb owner had just come in. She noticed I was crying, and came over to comfort me. She was very kind, and didn’t do more than sit with me.
When I stopped crying, she began to ask my questions. Just, where I was from, was I in school, etc. Eventually, we got to the topic of the town I was born in, and because it is small, I never expect anyone to know it.
Suddenly, she exclaims, “I am from there!” I was very surprised, so we kept talking. Turns out, we had attended the same elementary school! She got out a book of photos, and when I saw an old class photo, I could not believe it.
She was my best friend in kindergarten! I still remembered her so well, even though it was so long ago. She remembered my mother, too!
She had changed her last name when she married, so I had no idea. We had a wonderful time talking about our lives since then, and I am happy to say, she helped me so much to mourn my mother. Still today, I am so shocked, and grateful, this happened to me.
[311 words]
By STEPHANIE HARGON,
2019
Originally Answered: Why do so many people suddenly think it’s acceptable to continue to live with your parents into adulthood?
I moved out when I was 18 and spent the next 22 years being in my own. 6 years ago I got a job transfer back to the town my mom lived in and moved in with her while I was looking for my own place. After a while we both decided that it was advantageous for both of us if I stayed and we split the rent and bills. It saved us both money and we were able to help each other out. She’s disabled and unable to do her yard work so I did that for her. My son was in kindergarten so sometimes she would babysit for me if I had to work late etc.
A year later I got transferred again, so my son and I moved 3 hours north of where we were living with my mom. A months later Mom retired and was asking me to to find her a place near where I would be living. I hadn’t had much luck finding a 2 bedroom for my son and I, so we decided that we should just combine forces again and I found a 4 bedroom. 2 years later we bought a house together. So I guess Mom and I will be living together forever. I’m so thrilled too! I love having her right here and being able to help her out. I love that her and my son have a special relationship and are so close. We split expenses and share chores and it works for us.
[275 words]
When did you first realize your child was different?
By DAVE NORRIS,
JUN 11, 2024
I first suspected the day after he was born. He was alert and looking around. Yes, I know they can’t focus their eyes but this kid was staring right at me. I felt he was staring through me. I told my wife it was like a sentient being was staring at me from behind those eyes.
At two weeks he would hold his head up to get a better view.
I was song leader at church and during service sat on the platform next to the pastor when something else was going on. My wife sat on the front row holding the baby. At six months he noticed me on the platform and mouthed “Hi, Pop” to me as clearly as day. The pastor noticed and whispered “He said ‘Hi, Pop.’” I nodded in agreement.
I started to write that he began walking at 9 months. In fact, he hit the floor running and has never slowed down.
His older brother and sister are smart and smarter. They both swear that he is smarter than either of them. Unfortunately he was diagnosed late with ADHD. He found it very hard to focus on boring things and developed bad study habits. He attempted college twice but never took to book learning. He drives a truck for a living. He also plays ukulele, recorder, and bass guitar. He juggles, makes glass marbles, roasts and grinds his own coffee brand, yo-yoes competitively, and is a former state spin top champion. He sews costumes for himself and his kids. He can also wire a house, rebuild a car engine, and create graphic art.
Oh, and he is 6 feet 4 inches (1.9m) tall and 240 pounds (108kg) of solid muscle. Best of all, he is still my sweet, tender-hearted, little boy.
[297 words]
