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When doing things, it’s not about being slow, but about stopping.
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Every Night a Book (JYXZ89896)—— Read a good book every day, with 3 million subscribers on WeChat. Click the blue words “Every Night a Book” below the title to follow us, and we will provide you with valuable and interesting extended reading.
When doing things, it’s not about being slow, but about stopping.
Author: Zhen Shui Wu Xiang
Source: Fan Deng Reading (ID: readingclub_btfx)
Renowned American psychologist Martin Galad conducted an experiment:
Before execution, the judge brought the death row inmate into a dark room, tied him to a bed, and told him he would bleed to death.
Then, the judge had someone scratch the inmate’s left wrist with a wooden piece.
Next, they turned on a faucet, dripping water into a copper basin under the bed, making a tinkling sound.
The dripping sound went from fast to slow, causing the inmate to experience extreme fear. He sensed intense pain in his wrist, believing his blood was slowly draining away.
After a day, the judge returned to find the inmate dead.
Monitoring records showed that the symptoms of death were the same as those caused by blood loss, but in reality, he had not lost a single drop of blood.
The most typical state of internal struggle is just like this, the body is still, while the mind is active.
Too much worry leads to a scattered heart, a scattered heart leads to diminished will.
Only by refusing internal struggles can one find the best remedy for life.
1
What tires you is overthinking
On February 9, during the Beijing Winter Olympics.
In the men’s 1500m short track speed skating semi-final, the world’s number one Ren Ziwei was disqualified due to a foul, missing the final.
Reflecting on his mistake, Ren Ziwei often said:
The reason for my failure is that I thought too much.
Before the semi-final, everyone had high hopes for Ren Ziwei, expecting him to win his third gold medal.
Ren Ziwei himself was also constantly thinking: How to push for first place in the final, which tactics to use to win quickly, and what if I don’t get first…
Excessive thinking before the competition burdened him with heavy mental weights.
As a result, during the actual competition, Ren Ziwei skated poorly, made a basic mistake, and was disqualified due to a collision foul.
Ren Ziwei said:
I was already thinking about the final before the semi-final was over. Before going on stage, I had already lost half the battle.
As the saying goes: “Those who care too much will be burdened, those who don’t care will be indifferent.”
Often, the exhaustion in life comes not from the difficulties encountered but from overthinking.
A small matter, if overthought, can lead to unhappiness; a big matter, if overthought, can lead to pressure;
A good matter, if overthought, can lead to anxiety; a bad matter, if overthought, can lead to sleepless nights.
With a simple heart, the world is simple; with a complicated heart, the world is complicated.
The burdens of life lie in the heart; if the heart is not burdened, life is not burdened.
The most frightening thing for a person is not how many failures they have encountered along the way, but being tripped up by various thoughts when they should be focused on moving forward.
In life, do you often find yourself like this:
Tomorrow is an exam, clearly there is plenty of time, yet you still worry about whether you can catch up;
During the day, you have already said what you needed to say, yet before sleeping at night, you still ponder whether you should have said it;
When others perform and sing, winning the attention of the audience, you might be murmuring: What if I participated too…
Psychologists say: “Overthinking is a form of internal struggle, it not only doesn’t help you, it will drain all your energy.”
The biggest loss in the world is worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, being anxious about results you have imagined yourself.
Human energy is limited; don’t let everything weigh on your heart.
For life’s matters, do your best; for emotional matters, let them take their course.
Stopping mental internal struggles and not overthinking is the best state of life for a person.
2
What causes you pain is emotional internal struggles
Psychologist Mike talked about a patient’s story:
One day, Hall was scrolling through his social media before bed and noticed that his colleague Allen had liked all their mutual friends’ posts but did not like his.
Hall felt very down; he associated it with his mediocre work performance, average relationship with his boss, and lack of promotion prospects recently.
He felt not only Allen, but it seemed like all his colleagues looked down on him.
He regretted not spending money to give gifts to his boss.
The more Hall thought, the sadder he became, to the point where he couldn’t sleep all night.
The next morning, while taking his daughter to kindergarten.
It was only when the teacher reminded him that Hall remembered the kindergarten had an event that day, and the teacher had sent a notice to wear formal clothes, which he had forgotten.
By the time he got home to change, it was too late, and his daughter had to be disqualified from the event.
Looking at his daughter standing alone on the side, Hall felt extremely guilty, thinking it was all because he was unsuccessful that his family was ostracized.
Since then, Hall became depressed.
Even a casual remark from others could plunge him into deep self-blame and sadness.
He began to suffer from insomnia, losing hair in clumps, and looking haggard.
There is nothing in the world, but fools trouble themselves.
Some pain stems from obsession with trivial matters, magnifying the unpleasant ones.
The famous “Festein’s Law” states:
10% of life is made up of events that happen to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react to those events.
For sensitive individuals, a simple word or an unintentional action from others can stir their emotions and affect their mood.
However, there are good and bad in everything.
The more you care about something, the more it will torment you.
Caring about others’ opinions will make you nervous due to shyness; focusing on others’ views will lead to self-blame due to mistakes; expecting others’ evaluations will result in pain due to mediocrity.
Life has many hardships; there is no need to get caught up in internal struggles over every little thing.
Those who criticize you may just be habitually picky; those who ignore you may just be naturally indifferent.
The clearest understanding for a person is to realize that others’ words and actions have nothing to do with themselves.
A calm mind and stepping out of internal struggles is the beginning of a strong life.
3
Refusing internal struggles is the best remedy for life
Xiao Li and Zhu Jun are the owners of two neighboring clothing stores, both forced to close due to losses during the pandemic.
After closing their stores, both fell into despair.
Zhu Jun complained all day long, lamenting natural disasters and human misfortunes, not eating or sleeping well, and often arguing with others, causing acquaintances to avoid her.
Xiao Li also felt down for a while, but she quickly cheered up and started learning live streaming and selling online.
During the day, she would try on clothes in front of the camera while explaining.
At night, she repeatedly watched other streamers’ live videos and joined several live streaming groups to learn techniques.
In two months, Xiao Li studied over a hundred live streams and filled a thick notebook.
Now, Xiao Li has her own fan base.
Not only are repeat purchases constant, but new fans are also increasing rapidly, with sales multiplying compared to before.
Life is full of disappointments; instead of being tormented by mental internal struggles, it’s better to heal oneself through action.
Perhaps action may not bring immediate success, but it can help you gradually escape from difficulties.
In the classic movie “Forrest Gump,” the mediocre Forrest ultimately became a war hero, sports champion, political figure, and millionaire.
People have no doubt about Forrest’s success, and the analysis of how he succeeded has never ceased.
There’s a popular saying online:
Why did Forrest succeed? Because Forrest never thought about succeeding. In everything he did, he just did it without asking about the outcome.
When playing football, he would just run forward with the ball; when playing table tennis, he would remember to keep his eyes on the ball.
Daily actions, unafraid of the thousands of miles; daily efforts, unafraid of the thousands of tasks.
Those who seem more outstanding than you have simply escaped internal struggles earlier than you.
Not being disturbed by external matters can enrich your soul; not punishing yourself for others’ mistakes will help you live freely and easily.
Zeng Guofan said: “Adapt to things as they come, do not seek out what is to come, do not mix up what is present, and do not cling to what has passed.”
A broad heart has no worries; a large mind has no concerns.
▽
As the saying goes: “Empty talk is the foam of water; action is the drop of gold.”
When doing things, it’s not about being slow, but about stopping.
When others are still hesitating about “whether to do it,” you have already taken the first step, defeating most people.
As snowboarding champion Su Yiming said: “What’s ahead? Slide down, and you will have the answer.”
The simplest remedy for healing internal struggles is to take action immediately.
Refusing internal struggles and taking immediate action is the beginning of a better life.
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